Relaxed Parenting Tuesday: Let's Work Together

My life at home is a beautiful mess. It's a combination of stress and less. Stress brought about by having one space for both work and play, and less on travel time, transportation costs, traffic hassles, expensive work lunches, etc. I love what I do. When my sister asked for my advice on a career change she had to make; I asked her to list down PROS and CONS for both her options and make a decision from there. If I have to take my own advice and weigh the advantages and disadvantages of working in the office VS working from home; the latter will obviously win.

But working from home is never always bright and sunny. There are days of no work, days of tons of work and days of distraction. The last sounded like the worst! Although spelled differently from 'destruction'; it is equally damaging to mood and productivity. WAHMs and freelancers should avoid days of distraction at all cost. It is a form of wasting time that can otherwise be spent with valuable work, family, personal projects, cooking or whatever. If you are distracted, it is best to stop working and deal with the distraction than try hard to get work done with divided attention. Exactly what I did with my lovely distraction a couple of days ago.

My ultimate goal has always been to work smart, not hard. This is the reason I always try to find side project opportunities that can generate passive income. One side project I tried, which have been fairly successful is Happy Freelancing-- a contractor agency that has provided     homebased job opportunities to people within my circle (to start). I earn commission (Agency Fee) from our member's work, which allows me to spend more time homemaking and parenting, and not more time in front of the computer working. I take pride of the work we do in the agency, and of the fact that we have provided quality jobs to our members. 

The agency has one active member at the moment. The project secured both the contractor and the agency weekly income, which allowed me to spend less time at work. Unfortunately, with how living expenses are these days, a passive income and a part-time job won't do. Before I knew it, I'm back trying to go full-time freelancing again. You can probably imagine how stressful a sudden change in schedule can be! I was working late, preparing Isha for school in the morning and helping her with her assignments/projects in the afternoon-- I felt so busy. I was being productive, but absent-minded at home. My thoughts were always at work... and my little lady noticed.

The Proposal

The day came when she just can't take it anymore. She did everything she can to keep me away from the computer with her questions, invitation to play and 'always hungry' complaints. I didn't see it as an effort to get my attention at first until it has started to really annoy me. I had to deal with the flavor of the month distraction... Exciting! We needed to talk. She needed to know she's the month's distraction! But just when I was about to tell her to stay in a corner and play with her things; I realized how much she's been wanting to show me her drawings and to talk to me about her classmates. The girl obviously misses me! I logged out from work and gave her my undivided attention. I proposed we work together.

My Space

Space is important to me when I work. In fact, you'll find it odd that I have always kept my workstation spotlessly clean even when other parts of the apartment aren't. I value my space, but I won't mind sharing it with my daughter if I need to. That day, I shared my computer desk with her. I read Facebook comments out loud and spoke of my responses as I typed them in. She drew beside me. She'd ask me, "Anong reply" to start a conversation about the work I do. I would look at her creation and appreciate it with love and honesty. My workday ended early that day. I spent quality time with her and made it clear that we have to set boundaries. "Mommy's got to work", I told her. It is The Rock's line from Fast & Furious. I'm glad she remembered it well. 

We rearranged stuff at home the next day. I traded my comfy, spacious area of work for a corner in the apartment. We made physical boundaries, but made it clear that Mommy won't always be in that corner. She'll come out from time to time, and the little lady will  know that it's time to play, study, talk or watch a movie. 

That's the thing about parenting: You have your own needs as a parent, but your kid needs you, too. You have to keep boundaries, but you have to come out of them eventually. And as always, nothing can possibly go wrong when you are relaxed.